Betty White- In Memoriam

Reality: The Loss of our Pew Mom.

Three years ago this week, my husband had just been ordained and installed, and I found myself alone in the pew with two boys under the age of two.  As I walked in that first week after the ordination, the nerves were flowing.  I made my way up to the fourth pew, a close enough seat for the boys to see but still a buffer from their daddy pastor.  I was thinking to myself, "I hope I don't sit in someone's seat that has been here for 55 years...I hope my kids don't scream the whole time and try to run to daddy...I hope I can make it through this and possibly still hear the sermon. Heck, I hope I don't start crying at this very moment."

As I turned into the pew, a woman from across the aisle stood up and came towards me.  She said, "Would you mind if I sit with you?  I thought you might like someone in the pew with you with those little boys.  I wouldn't want you to be alone."

And so my relationship with Miss Betty White began.  She flew in that Sunday morning like an angel sent to sooth the fears of a pastor's wife with littles in the pew.  For the next three years, with barely a failure, she sat there in that pew with us.  She didn't judge me when they threw fits.  She didn't get discouraged when they inevitably were rude to her about something.  She brought them a little snack bag each week.  She held them on her lap.  She acted as a bookend on the pew when all they wanted to do was escape.  She sang the songs of the faith boldly into their ears.  She held them while they slept.  She held their hands while taking Communion.  She welcomed our new daughter and greatly anticipated our upcoming blessing to join us in that crazy pew.

A woman who had spent her whole life in the church chose to leave her pew, even her beloved SIDE of the church, to venture into a territory unknown with small children.  A unmarried woman with no children of her own found value in aiding me, a woman with an abundance of children.  The family of the church is so beautiful.

Last Sunday, the churches threw a surprise ordination anniversary dinner for my husband.  She walked up to me and said, "I know this is for your husband, but I want you to know it is for you, too.  I love you and the kids so much.  We are so happy you are here with us.  You and your husband are two of my favorite people in the world.  And I mean that."  I was so humbled and honored by her words.  The woman who went out of her way for three years to make me feel included and loved would say this to me?  I needed to say it to her.

I couldn't have known and neither could she what those words would mean to me just a few short days later.  Miss Betty, our "pew mom," as the children refer to her, died unexpectedly this week.  The ache in my soul is great.  The empty space in our pew will be vast tomorrow and every Sunday to come.

During our breakfast devotions this morning, we told the kids.  They have never lost a grandparent, and this is the closest they could come to that type of loss.  Since they are all very young, death is still a relatively unclear subject.  Our oldest said, "Miss Betty died?"  We said, "Yes, Honey.  Miss Betty died and is in heaven with Jesus now."  He just stared for a few moments, and we decided to go on with our prayers.  Today's prayers were focused on our extended family.  When I finished listing the prayers, he quietly said, "And we pray that we get to see Miss Betty at Mt. Calvary again."

My heart broke.
But we will see Miss Betty again, my dear son. 

And we get that joy because of what happened on the original Mt. Calvary.
Until then, our dearest beloved Miss Betty, we will be missing you, while rejoicing in knowing that with all the company of heaven, including you, Saint Betty, we are joined at Holy Communion.

And I will smile thinking of you holding the hands of our children during so many Sundays of Communion.  You will hold their hands again, my friend.  I love you.  I miss you.

Article submitted by contributing writer- Kelly Stout.  Our condolences to the WHITE family and all those who have loved Betty.

Pat Bell- Northern Region

The Community of Calvary Lutheran Church 

comes together in Shared Grief 

at the loss of Bobby Chapman IV.

Shared Grief

A light has gone out of the world. 

Darkness has not won. 

But there is one less light 

for our journey home. 

Precious is each moment of life. 

Even the mundane of a meeting becomes 

a holy moment to remember. 

There are no words to express our grief .

We only pray for increased faith, 

and your presence Lord,

 to walk us through our loss. 

 Help us cling to your promises, 

for you are our only refuge.

Pat states- "I wrote Shared Grief because I did not know what to pray 

after the tragic accident at Calvary. I was there that night.

 But I did know that death had not won."

Pat Bell tells us a bit about her faith journey.......

When I think back on my faith journey 

it is a lot of years travelled 

with lots of baggage on my shoulders. 

I am an introvert who in the past almost never 

shared my inner self with anyone. It was a lonely journey.  

Then in 1998, God led me to spiritual direction. 

In meeting with a spiritual director who was so very caring 

and kind I was able to look at all that baggage honestly 

and stop being a prisoner to hurts of the past. 

I became more aware of God's presence in my life

 and knew that God really did love me warts and all. 

 It was so freeing after all those years.

As part of my spiritual discipline,

 I began putting the Psalms in my own words 

and eventually I began writing my own words in verse.  

This became a way of working through things

 and being open to the working of the spirit within me. 

 The words are Spirit written. I just put them on paper. 

The real miracle though was that I actually

 started sharing my writing with others.

Current spirit disciplines are listening to music 

(mostly David Haas CD's)

 as a means of  letting go of distractions,

 so I can spend time in prayer- 

with room within to sense God, 

His presence and leading. 

  I still meet with a spiritual director monthly. 

Recently I have found coloring designs 

or mandalas while listening to music 

helpful and a great stress release.

I have recently retired and feel in transition still. 

Not quite sure where the Spirit is guiding

 me right now. 

At church I am currently Director of Lay Ministry

 and a women's bible study 

meets in my home twice a month.

Joy in my day - 

I find this a challenge to answer,

 as I still have a reserved personalty,

 but I experience inner joy in seeing what God is doing

 in my two children's lives and my grandchildren. 

  Children and grandchildren are a great joy.  

God has put a number of very special friends

 in my life and time with them is joyful.  

God loves me through the care 

and friendship of these special people.

We give thanks for the way that the Lord

 is leading Pat and her presence

 in the community of Calvary, Baltimore.

And we pray this blessing upon them all..........

I

Linda Storm- Central Region

Babies don’t come with instruction books. It is a huge transition to the new role as a parent, whom do you turn to for help, support and guidance? With the skills of Infant Massage, those parents can look to the church.

I was raised to problem solve. As an elementary/special education teacher/preschool teacher, I was trying to figure out how we can help our babies/children get off to the best start and how to help parents build their confidence.  When I heard about infant massage I felt that maybe it might hold some answers. Working with infants and parents is definitely early in the relationship.

As I learned more about infant massage, I realized that I had actually done some things right!  I had held and rocked and carried, cuddled and responded to them. Little did I realize how important all of these things are for the health growth and development of the baby and important for the infant/parent mental health.

When teaching parents to massage their babies it is wonderful to witness the angel moments when parents connect with loving communication to their baby and their baby returns the same in the glow of their face.  I can just see God smile. This is just a glimpse of how much God loves us.  “We love because he first loved us.”  The relationship a baby has with their parent is the first relationship they have and it is the basis of all other relationships the child will have.  To help nurture that relationship is priceless.

After taking my training with a friend from church, we started teaching lots of classes both at church an in the community. It was so rewarding. As I finished a home visit with a family I was talking to God about how wonderful the experience was but that there were so many parents that I couldn’t reach. At that moment he gave me my call to become a trainer so that I could train others who would then teach other parents.  As I taught others and brought them into the work of Infant Massage, I had helpers. It was like going through a Xerox machine.  

I completed my work to be an International Trainer of Infant Massage in June 2002. Since then I have traveled from London to Korea and across the United States and trained over a thousand people in all types of careers. It is wonderful to have people reaching parents with this work that on my own I couldn’t reach.  

Now I am working to bring this work into the church.  I am reaching out to churches in the South Eastern District to open their doors to provide space for the training and I will train members of their church and the surrounding community.  Christ said, Bring the little children unto me for such is the kingdom of heaven. He encouraged us to Train them up in the way they should go and they will not depart from it. Research is now showing the truth of this verse.

We all want to live in caring communities,  Let peace begin with me.

Linda Storm is a member of Prince of Peace Lutheran Church- 
Springfield, Virginia.

 She would be delighted to speak with you about
bringing infant Massage  
to your church and community.

Linda Storm, CEIM, IAIMT, IPMHC

www.infantmassageusa.org

linda.storm@infantmassageusa.org

571-241-1075

The story of COMFORT

The STORY of COMFORT

(the names have been changed for this article)

On our family's prayer board at home, we have "persecuted Christians" under the world prayers section.  Churches and Christians around the globe are uplifting these members of the body of Christ in prayer.  Most of us, at least in the United States of America, pray for these people without having any connection other than our faith.  We mourn for them, but we don't really understand their persecution.  How could we?  Although we have forms of persecution here, it is not common to face life and death situations based on our faith.  We are blessed in this.  

When Comfort, a member of Abundant Life Lutheran Church in Charlotte, NC, prays for persecuted Christians, the pain hits a little closer to home.  Comfort is from Nigeria.  She relocated to North Carolina many years ago to attend college, but her extended family, including her mother and siblings, still live in Nigeria.

Nigeria.     You have probably heard of them.

ISIL, ISIS, the Islamic State, Boko Haram - whatever name the news chooses to use -  is taking military control over many parts of Nigeria, particularly the north which is an official Muslim State.

A group of girls from a boarding school in Nigeria were abducted, the whole school, and never returned.  "Convert or die" is something our brothers and sisters in Christ have heard in their own ears.   Nigerian Christians face some of the greatest persecution this world has ever seen.  

When Comfort prays for persecuted Christians, she is pleading with her Father to protect her family and friends, to defend their Faith, to strengthen their confession, to help them face persecution with a confidence in Christ only given by God Himself.  

When I asked her how her family deals with this she said, "They know they can't live in fear.  God will protect us."

Truer words have never been spoken, because Comfort and her family know that even when Christians are killed for their Faith, God has still protected them.  His protection comes in the form of the forgiveness of sins won on the cross.  That is a protection no Islamic State can overcome.  

Comfort knows this.  Her family lives in southern Nigeria, and therefore, currently still has some protection from the threat of ISIS from the north.  She continues to pray along with all her fellow brothers and sisters in Christ that God will physically protect her family on this earth and spiritually sustain their Faith in the face of fear.  

In her life here, she is blessed with a husband (a man she met after moving to the United States) and two children.  She recalls back to her first days and years here, where racism was such a new and bizarre concept for her.  She was in college, but didn't really have any concept of the historical reasons for racism in the U.S., and it came as a shock to her.  

Comfort grew up Roman Catholic, because boarding schools were provided free of charge from the Roman Catholic church in Nigeria.  The only other choice for school was very expensive schools within the community.  Her family did not have the money to send her to the community school, so she would be sent to the Catholic boarding school each year.  During secondary school (6th-12th grades) she would be unable to go home for the entire school year.  

After she and her husband had children, she was looking for a daycare.  Abundant Life Lutheran Church was running a daycare at the time, and so her fifteen year membership at this church began.  The pastor's wife of the time just kept saying, "We would love to have you at church."  Comfort would say, "Well, I am Catholic," even though she had not been actively attending church since living in Nigeria.

One Sunday she came with her family just to be nice to the pastor's wife.  She says she keeps coming back because the people really care when she isn't there.  Both of her children have been Baptized here.  This thirty-member congregation has become her family on this side of the ocean.

And so, as her family, they raise up her Nigerian family in prayer each week, recognizing that our Risen Lord is one, across oceans, forgiving the sins of all who believe in Him.  And thanks be to God for the faith given to Comfort and her family and all Christians in times of persecution and in times of peace.  The Lord keeps giving us His gifts.

Submitted by Kelly Stout-

Journeys of Faith contributor-

 Kannapolis, NC