Aging in Grace- Gift Giving

AGING IN GRACE - Gift Giving

Commercials, newspaper advertisements, catalogues are sending us messages that buying gifts this season is how to show love.  As faithful women and men, we know that our older loved ones and congregation members have the greatest gift in Jesus -  but it it is easy to get side tracked by all of the pressures of our culture.

IDEAS: Two things should be considered during the Christmas Season.

1 - The gift of time is the best gift we can give.  This means that we have to manage our own time so that we can share our time with others in unhurried moments focused on the older person. And we can gift caregivers to free up their time so they can get relief and have more energy to provide needed care.

Consider what activities bring spiritual meaning to the older adult.

     

          “Go with me to church”- is the number one wish that I hear from seniors when asked what they want from their children for Christmas (or Mother's Day, Thanksgiving, etc.).

          Recreate traditional worship opportunities - advent wreath prayer time, the lighting of an angel chime, reading the Christmas story, singing carols, sharing favorite cookies and a cup of tea, or baking together.  Think about smells that will bring back memories - cinnamon, baked bread, fresh greens, hot cookies, and peppermint.  Simple, friendly activities are best.

          Remember, some people in nursing homes are able to enjoy time at home or with friends during the holidays.  If your loved one is on Medicaid (over 70 % of all nursing home residents receive this subsidy), the resident is able to take “therapeutic leave” in most states.   This means he can come home for a day or several days depending on the state where you live without losing Medicaid benefits. Be sure to plan this with the facility in advance to make sure medications and other items are prepared.  If the person is on Medicare for skilled rehabilitation, visits are typically for the day with the person needing to return before midnight so that Medicare benefits are not lost. Planning these visits with the staff is essential; the payoff is often a renewed interest in family and getting better.

          

             An alternative is to take the family to the assisted living and nursing home for a Christmas celebration.  Share the joy with those residents who do not have visitors. Sadly, 40% of long term care residents have no regular visits from family or friends.

        

 2 - Concrete gifts should reflect the wants and needs of the person you are gifting.  If you don’t know, ask the person. If the person can not articulate her wishes, think about what she enjoyed in earlier stages of her life.

         Is the person concerned about money?  A CVS card that can be used for necessities and treats can take a little pressure off of the older adult. Stamps and cards are often appreciated by those who are home bound or in assisted living.

        What seasonal activities did the older person most enjoy?  For my 97 year old neighbor, it wouldn’t be Christmas without a tin of her favorite macaroons, a live wreath for the door, and a subscription to her favorite paper. For my aunt, a bird feeder outside of the nursing home window brought hours of joy as well as on-going happiness when her family replaced the seed in winter and in spring planted flowers around it.  A beautiful book of seasonal pictures including nativities can add meaning to the season.

           People with memory loss might appreciate a photo album with large pictures of family.  Label the pictures with large print so the names are visible (yes, some people with Alzheimer’s Disease continue to be able to read) and visitors will be able to talk with the person about family members.  Make an album of the person’s interests - flowers or automobiles or travel pictures. (A great project for young people to make for older relatives.) A soft blanket with pictures of family or favorite pets (think Shutterfly) can bring comfort.  

RESOURCES:

AGING CARE.  How to Take a Vacation from a Nursing Home.

      leave-of-absence

THE HOLIDAYS AND ALZHEIMER'S (and other memory loss).   Expectations, gift giving,  involving the person, ideas for those at home and I. Assisted living/nursing homes resources/holidays

SONG FOR REFLECTION:   What Child is This, Josh Groan
What Child is this?    

 Wishing you Advent Blessings!  
Share your ideas for meaningful gifts of activities 
and gifts that will bring comfort and joy
 in the comment section below.

Alice H. Hedt,

 Landover Hills MD  

Contributing writer for Journeys of Faith      

ahedt@aol.com

Giving and Thanksgiving- The Schultes

Nurse Stephanie Schulte 
of the LCMS Mercy Medical Team in Togo

 holds and comforts Yendutien,  

a child suffering from chills 
and a life-threatening fever. 

Yendutien’s father traveled over 20 miles
 to get care for his son. 

For more of this article check out:
togo-mercy-medical-team

This week I was blessed to meet

 a social media friend In Real Life.

 Rev. Gary and Stephanie Schulte 

 were in California 

at the same conference center 

where we were attending back to back events.

Somehow I had connected to Steph

 on social media a few years back

and she saw my posts 

on Instagram and figured out

 we were in the same place. 

 Though it took a couple of days,

 we were finally able to meet in person.

Rev. Gary and Stephanie Schulte

Connie and Steph

A little Yendutien in recovery.
A great ending to this story
 for this little one and his family.

Rev. Gary and Steph Schulte
 work with Dr. Brent Smith 
of Mission Central.
They would love your support 
of their medical team 
and missionary work.
 You can donate to their work
 in Togo or follow along in their story-
 right HERE:
missioncentral.us/schulte

May the Lord bless their ministry 
of giving and thanksgiving
 in the Mission Field of Africa.

Aging in Grace-2

Aging in Grace

The average American woman
 will spend more time caring
 for older adults in her family 

than she spent raising her children.

Whoa!   That is a lot of time, a lot of caring, a lot of work!

As faith filled women, we struggle with our responsibilities for our elders and adults who need care and our responsibilities to our children, our congregations and to our selves.

Here are some scenarios:

A 58 year old daughter has a sparkly personality and loves parish activities.  However, she is in the sandwich generation with responsibilities for three teens, an 80 year old dad and a 99 year old grandma.  

An 80 year old man is the primary caregiver for his 84 year old wife who has Alzheimer's Disease. The family brings them  to church faithfully and helps him almost daily. But, he worries in the long nights when she is awake and wandering through the house.  
This care giving has gone on for five years and could continue for many more.

A faithful 75 year old Grandma is responsible for her adolescent granddaughter who lives with her.  Grandma loves to cook, check homework, and especially enjoys daily prayer time with her granddaughter before school.  But when Grandma is sick, she worries about the child and the responsibilities the child has to undertake to provide care for her.

Ideas:   In this season of gratitude, drop a note to caregivers acknowledging their responsibilities and committing to praying for them regularly.  Ask them what they would like you to pray for this month.  Better yet - make time for a visit to the caregiver and the care receiver.  Both might benefit from a friendly face and a caring heart.

Resources:  Reread the excellent article on Caring for the Caregiver in the October Lutheran Witness and on the SED blog by Vicki Hanson and Sue Bohlman at Bethany Lutheran Church in Waynesboro, VA.   Great information for congregations and individuals.          
                                                    caring-for-caregivers

ELDERCARE LOCATOR:   A public service by the U.S. Administration on Aging  that will connect you to services in your community or in the neighborhood of the older adult you care for. There are many programs that can help older people age at home, but  caregivers often wait too long to learn what is available. Lots of resources 1-800-677-1116              
                                                                  eldercare

24 HOUR ALZHEIMER's HOT LINE:   Experienced call consultants will discuss your situation day or night.  Call when you can't sleep or if you need ideas about how to address your loved one's behavior that is upsetting to you. Remember, there are many kinds of dementia.  This hot line can help you with memory loss regardless of the reason. 
Free. 1-800-272-3900      

FIND AN OMBUDSMAN:  Looking for a nursing home or assisted living?  Have a loved one with a problem in a long term care facility?  Impartial Ombudsmen are available across the country to provide information on long term care and assist with problem resolution.  All discussions are confidential. Free. (Hint: "Ombudsman" is Swedish for Citizen Advocate.)                 
                                                      the consumer voice

Song for Reflection:  If I Can Help Somebody ---- If I Can Help Somebody

Please feel free to share resources that have been helpful to you when you were a caregiver or things that other people did that were useful. Join the conversation.

                               

Blessings, 

Alice Hedt

Andover Hills, Maryland  

Special thanks to Alice Hedt 
for sharing her experience and knowledge
and serving as a contributing writer
 for Journeys of Faith.

Aging in Grace

Aging in Grace

Today I feel old after struggling with a bad cold and being treated for pneumonia.  Somedays, I don't feel old  - I go to water aerobics, sing in two choirs, visit nursing homes with my Pastor husband, and enjoy my friends.  But my reality is that periodically my body and my mind remind me with new and sometimes surprising aches and pains -  "Alice, you are getting older.  Life is short.  Count your blessings.  Make a difference. Learn to cope.  Stop whining!"

Almost 40 years ago, I started working in the field of aging and when introducing myself, I would blithely say "I am Alice Hedt, and my goal is to improve services for seniors so that when I am old, I will be able to have quality care and quality of life."   Now, I introduce myself and say "I am a 70 year old woman who is trying to figure out my aging and address issues faced by other older adults."

I have been asked to share information on aging and resources available in this blog for Women of the Southeastern District. So periodically, you will see "Aging in Grace" with links to services available and food for thought on aging that may be useful in your own aging process, and in your relationships with aging family members, friends and church family.

Please send me your questions to ahedt@aol.com and I commit to looking for answers.  My expertise is in long term care. This includes finding and getting good care in nursing homes, assisted living, and in-home delivered services. But, I enjoy researching other aging resources;  and we can seek advice and ideas within our own SED network.

Resource:  ALOA    Adult Lutherans Organized for Action is a national organization with a wealth of resources for individuals 50+ and congregations.  I love their videos that stimulate discussion and Bible Study on aging topics.  ALOA also offers affordable travel and retreats. Sign up on line for a free newsletter for you or a loved one. ALOA's mission is to equip persons in the second half of life as disciples of Jesus Christ for their service to family, church, community and the world.

https://aloaserves.org/

Song for Reflection:   Day by Day      Aging is the ultimate journey for each of us.  We are not alone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzrhqjzQCi4

I am thankful for this opportunity to discuss these topics with you. Looking forward to on-line conversations as we age in Grace together.                                                                                                                        

                                                                                      Alice Hedt, Landover Hills Maryland 

We thank Alice for joining the writing staff 

for this blog and appreciate her dedication

 to this topic and welcome her expertise!