Caring for Caregivers

Although the term “caregiver” as we use it now is relatively new, dating to the mid-1970s, caregiving is hardly a new idea. Family members have been caring for the young, the old, the sick and those with disabilities for the entire span of human existence. Yet as modern medicine is helping individuals live longer lives, even with serious impairments and chronic diseases that would have been fatal in the past, unpaid family caregivers are providing care and companionship at surprising rates.  

According to a 2015 study published by the National Alliance for Caregiving, an estimated 43.5 million adults (representing 18.2 percent of the adult U.S. population) had provided some form of unpaid care for a loved one within the past 12 months. These numbers are expected to increase in coming decades as our population ages, especially since a substantial number (34.2 million) of these caregivers reported caring for an adult over age 50. 

These data suggest that in your congregation, right this very moment, nearly one in five adults is a caregiver of some kind, on average providing 21 hours of care (or more) per week. These men and women often find themselves burdened by responsibilities they may not have asked for and may not have been prepared for. Yet even so, the individuals serving in this capacity fulfill their commitments day in and day out, sometimes over many years. The assistance they provide may take the form of bill paying, shopping and housekeeping, companionship, emotional support and personal care. Yet whatever their caregiving looks like they are daily living out God's commands to "honor your father and mother" and "love your neighbor as yourself" as they serve, love and cherish their parents, spouses, children, siblings and others. 

Chances are good, however, that most of the time, the work they do goes completely unnoticed by those around them — including their fellow church members. There are several reasons why this is so. Caregivers are generally focused on the care of others and tend to neglect their own needs. And while they are good at offering help, they often avoid asking for it. Additionally, all too often, our society simply takes the important work of caregiving for granted. 

While caregivers may be reluctant to be recognized, it is only fitting that we should shine a light on them and their dedication — and offer them our help as they face a range of significant challenges. 

What are some of the challenges that caregivers routinely face? 

• Time. Caregivers feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities and burdened by a lack of time.
• Stress. They experience the stress of balancing work, family and caregiving and sense that nothing is getting done well because of the overload. 
• Physical health. Caregivers often put off medical care or disregard healthy activities they enjoyed in the past.
• Mental health. Forty to 70 percent of caregivers display significant symptoms of depression. 
• Fear for the future. Caregivers observe daily the distressing challenges care receivers face in their lives. They may understandably fear the future when considering further deterioration of their loved one’s health and abilities.  
• Relationships. Time spent caregiving takes time away from the support and companionship they may receive from spouses, children, friends, social interests, church activities and spiritual pursuits. This creates isolation and loneliness.
• Identity. Caregivers may experience a loss of identity as they put aside travel, fitness, friendships and other interests and hobbies they once pursued. 
• Finances. There is often a financial downside to caregiving. The majority of caregivers adjust their work schedules to accommodate their caregiving schedule. They may reduce work hours, take a leave of absence or even quit work altogether. In addition, while the caregiving is unpaid, there are still out-of-pocket expenses involved in caregiving. 
• Commitment. Caregiving may continue for a significant amount of time. The average length of time for caregiving is 5.5 years. 

What does this mean for congregations? Just as we try to anticipate the needs of other groups of people in the congregation, such as teens, young parents or seniors, it is important for us to consider the needs and concerns of caregivers, too. 

Here are several ways in which your congregation can uplift and sustain the caregivers in your midst:

1. Identify and acknowledge the caregivers in your congregation. Although they may be reluctant to be individually named, pray for them as a group.
2. Look for and support any “formal” programs, including congregational wellness initiatives and support groups, that may be in place to provide encouragement to caregivers. If such programs don’t exist within your church or at other LCMS congregations nearby, consider starting one yourself. (Ask your circuit or district offices to recommend resources or organizations that can help.)  
3. Consider informal methods of reaching caregivers, such as an email support group or a private Facebook group for encouragement.
4. Be flexible and accommodating. In order to attend services or meetings, caregivers may need to bring along their care receivers. This means that special needs individuals or adults with dementia may accompany them. Offer these children of God a warm welcome.

    What can you as an individual do to help?

1. Pray for the caregivers in the congregation as well as for the care receivers.
2. Provide an ear to listen and the comfort of your presence. Regularly phone or visit.
3. Brainstorm ways to make the life of the caregiver and care receiver easier. Provide a meal or a dessert. Offer to provide respite care for an hour or two. If the caregiver has children, offer to take them for an afternoon or even an overnight visit.
4. Look for home maintenance projects you could help with. Purchase and hang a holiday wreath or plant some annuals. 
5. Send an encouraging greeting card. Add a Bible verse.
6. Remember that caregiving is long term. The need for help doesn’t diminish after a month or two. 

Consider the individuals around you who are caregivers. There will likely be more than you realized. What can you do today to help support them?

So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. (Galatians 6:10)

 Vicki Hanson and Sue Bohlmann are members at 

Bethany Lutheran Church in Waynesboro, Va. 

Both have extensive experience listening to

 and working with caregivers.

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“This article originally appeared in the October 2018 edition
 of The Lutheran Witness magazine 
and is reprinted here with permission.” 
A special thank you to Rachel Bomberger- Managing Editor
 for her help in securing this reprint.

Photos in this post are original- Connie Denninger