Aging in Grace-2

Aging in Grace

The average American woman
 will spend more time caring
 for older adults in her family 

than she spent raising her children.

Whoa!   That is a lot of time, a lot of caring, a lot of work!

As faith filled women, we struggle with our responsibilities for our elders and adults who need care and our responsibilities to our children, our congregations and to our selves.

Here are some scenarios:

A 58 year old daughter has a sparkly personality and loves parish activities.  However, she is in the sandwich generation with responsibilities for three teens, an 80 year old dad and a 99 year old grandma.  

An 80 year old man is the primary caregiver for his 84 year old wife who has Alzheimer's Disease. The family brings them  to church faithfully and helps him almost daily. But, he worries in the long nights when she is awake and wandering through the house.  
This care giving has gone on for five years and could continue for many more.

A faithful 75 year old Grandma is responsible for her adolescent granddaughter who lives with her.  Grandma loves to cook, check homework, and especially enjoys daily prayer time with her granddaughter before school.  But when Grandma is sick, she worries about the child and the responsibilities the child has to undertake to provide care for her.

Ideas:   In this season of gratitude, drop a note to caregivers acknowledging their responsibilities and committing to praying for them regularly.  Ask them what they would like you to pray for this month.  Better yet - make time for a visit to the caregiver and the care receiver.  Both might benefit from a friendly face and a caring heart.

Resources:  Reread the excellent article on Caring for the Caregiver in the October Lutheran Witness and on the SED blog by Vicki Hanson and Sue Bohlman at Bethany Lutheran Church in Waynesboro, VA.   Great information for congregations and individuals.          
                                                    caring-for-caregivers

ELDERCARE LOCATOR:   A public service by the U.S. Administration on Aging  that will connect you to services in your community or in the neighborhood of the older adult you care for. There are many programs that can help older people age at home, but  caregivers often wait too long to learn what is available. Lots of resources 1-800-677-1116              
                                                                  eldercare

24 HOUR ALZHEIMER's HOT LINE:   Experienced call consultants will discuss your situation day or night.  Call when you can't sleep or if you need ideas about how to address your loved one's behavior that is upsetting to you. Remember, there are many kinds of dementia.  This hot line can help you with memory loss regardless of the reason. 
Free. 1-800-272-3900      

FIND AN OMBUDSMAN:  Looking for a nursing home or assisted living?  Have a loved one with a problem in a long term care facility?  Impartial Ombudsmen are available across the country to provide information on long term care and assist with problem resolution.  All discussions are confidential. Free. (Hint: "Ombudsman" is Swedish for Citizen Advocate.)                 
                                                      the consumer voice

Song for Reflection:  If I Can Help Somebody ---- If I Can Help Somebody

Please feel free to share resources that have been helpful to you when you were a caregiver or things that other people did that were useful. Join the conversation.

                               

Blessings, 

Alice Hedt

Andover Hills, Maryland  

Special thanks to Alice Hedt 
for sharing her experience and knowledge
and serving as a contributing writer
 for Journeys of Faith.