AGING IN GRACE - Gift Giving
Commercials, newspaper advertisements, catalogues are sending us messages that buying gifts this season is how to show love. As faithful women and men, we know that our older loved ones and congregation members have the greatest gift in Jesus - but it it is easy to get side tracked by all of the pressures of our culture.
IDEAS: Two things should be considered during the Christmas Season.
1 - The gift of time is the best gift we can give. This means that we have to manage our own time so that we can share our time with others in unhurried moments focused on the older person. And we can gift caregivers to free up their time so they can get relief and have more energy to provide needed care.
Consider what activities bring spiritual meaning to the older adult.
“Go with me to church”- is the number one wish that I hear from seniors when asked what they want from their children for Christmas (or Mother's Day, Thanksgiving, etc.).
Recreate traditional worship opportunities - advent wreath prayer time, the lighting of an angel chime, reading the Christmas story, singing carols, sharing favorite cookies and a cup of tea, or baking together. Think about smells that will bring back memories - cinnamon, baked bread, fresh greens, hot cookies, and peppermint. Simple, friendly activities are best.
Remember, some people in nursing homes are able to enjoy time at home or with friends during the holidays. If your loved one is on Medicaid (over 70 % of all nursing home residents receive this subsidy), the resident is able to take “therapeutic leave” in most states. This means he can come home for a day or several days depending on the state where you live without losing Medicaid benefits. Be sure to plan this with the facility in advance to make sure medications and other items are prepared. If the person is on Medicare for skilled rehabilitation, visits are typically for the day with the person needing to return before midnight so that Medicare benefits are not lost. Planning these visits with the staff is essential; the payoff is often a renewed interest in family and getting better.
An alternative is to take the family to the assisted living and nursing home for a Christmas celebration. Share the joy with those residents who do not have visitors. Sadly, 40% of long term care residents have no regular visits from family or friends.
2 - Concrete gifts should reflect the wants and needs of the person you are gifting. If you don’t know, ask the person. If the person can not articulate her wishes, think about what she enjoyed in earlier stages of her life.
Is the person concerned about money? A CVS card that can be used for necessities and treats can take a little pressure off of the older adult. Stamps and cards are often appreciated by those who are home bound or in assisted living.
What seasonal activities did the older person most enjoy? For my 97 year old neighbor, it wouldn’t be Christmas without a tin of her favorite macaroons, a live wreath for the door, and a subscription to her favorite paper. For my aunt, a bird feeder outside of the nursing home window brought hours of joy as well as on-going happiness when her family replaced the seed in winter and in spring planted flowers around it. A beautiful book of seasonal pictures including nativities can add meaning to the season.
People with memory loss might appreciate a photo album with large pictures of family. Label the pictures with large print so the names are visible (yes, some people with Alzheimer’s Disease continue to be able to read) and visitors will be able to talk with the person about family members. Make an album of the person’s interests - flowers or automobiles or travel pictures. (A great project for young people to make for older relatives.) A soft blanket with pictures of family or favorite pets (think Shutterfly) can bring comfort.
RESOURCES:
AGING CARE. How to Take a Vacation from a Nursing Home.
THE HOLIDAYS AND ALZHEIMER'S (and other memory loss). Expectations, gift giving, involving the person, ideas for those at home and I. Assisted living/nursing homes resources/holidays
SONG FOR REFLECTION: What Child is This, Josh Groan
What Child is this?
What Child is this?
Wishing you Advent Blessings!
Share your ideas for meaningful gifts of activities
and gifts that will bring comfort and joy
in the comment section below.
Share your ideas for meaningful gifts of activities
and gifts that will bring comfort and joy
in the comment section below.
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