Carolyn Schuett- Southern Region

Reality: A New Normal for the Schuett Family

The glass doors slid open.  Inside was a whole new world - a world full of people who wish they weren't a part of it.  A world full of real people living real lives - the kind of people you never think you will know.

I am speaking of the spinal cord injury wing of the hospital.  This experience, like so many in life, is pretty impossible to understand unless you are one of the patients or family members inside those doors. 

On April 25th at exactly 1:09 AM, Carolyn and her grown son, Larry, awoke to a very loud crashing noise in their new home.  This was their third night there - boxes yet to be unpacked, rooms full of piles of their belongings.  They opened their bedroom doors, turned on the lights, and saw Danny (Carolyn's other grown son and Larry's younger brother) lying at the bottom of the stairs.

"I can't move my arms or legs!  I can't move anything."

Those were the only words he shared then, and when asked of his greatest struggle today, three full months later, he still replies, "I can't move my arms or legs.  I can't move anything."

This is the story of one family living under the cross, suffering a tragedy most of us will never understand.  This is the story of Carolyn Schuett and her two sons, Danny and Larry.

Danny is diagnosed as a quadriplegic.  He broke his neck between the C3 and C4 vertebrae when he fell down those stairs three months ago.  He is unable to move his body from the neck down.  His respiratory system is struggling.  He has a tracheotomy in order to breathe correctly.  At night, he is on a ventilator.  Just today, three months later, he had his first extended trip outside for 45 minutes.  He was able to see and feel the warmth of the sun on his face.  He was able to catch a little breeze.  Those seemingly small things are moments of joy for Danny today.

Three months ago, Danny was thinking about unpacking his belongings in his new home, going to work each day through a temp agency, and spending time with his mother and brother.  Today, his mother and brother spend every day from 7:30 am - 6:00 pm sitting next to him in the hospital.  They feed him, change him, roll him, lift him, push him, and love him (in the most action-filled love one can dream to see). 

Life is a new normal for Carolyn, Danny, and Larry. 

For many years, Carolyn worked in an office just below her son's hospital room.  She did secretarial work for nursing administration and medical services.  She saw the names of many patients come over her desk.  She saw families come and go.  She filled out forms for people she would never meet.  Today, she passed by that office on our walk together and said, "I should have listened more back then.  I didn't realize I would need so much of that information someday for my own son."

Carolyn's husband and Danny and Larry's father died in February of 2013.  For a year, the three of them provided end of life at home care to their cancer-stricken husband and father.  Little did Carolyn and Larry know, their experience would start to prepare them for this new life they were about to lead.

That is, if anything can ever prepare one for such a task.

Life is a new normal for Carolyn, Danny, and Larry.

"I don't know what people do without faith." Tears roll down Carolyn's cheeks.  She continues, "I know God's promises.  He doesn't promise us no suffering.  He does promise us His Son."  The tears come faster now.  I kneel at her feet with my hand on her knee.  I hear crying from behind me and turn to see Larry comforting Danny as they both cry. 

The suffering is great.  The burdens are heavy.

"I'm 82 years old now.  82.  Lord, give me extra strength." 

You can hear her thoughts -

"What happens to him when I die?" 

"How can I care for my son the way he needs?"

"How will God provide for us?"

"WHY GOD??????  Why him and not me?  Why can I walk and my son cannot?"

"I wish it was me."

The love of a mother.

Larry looks determined.  "When he comes home, Medicaid will cover 12 hours per day of a nurse.  I can do the other 12.  Is that a lot?  Do I wish I had some more help?  Sure, but I can do 12, because that is what he needs."  Larry has dedicated the rest of his life to caring for his brother.  Three months ago he knew nothing about breathing machines and lifts and bed sores and muscle therapy.  Today, he has a plan.  He learned a new language - a language of medications, tracheotomies, catheters, and technology. 

The love of a brother.

Life is a new normal for Carolyn, Danny, and Larry.

The new home they moved into three days before the accident needs some changes before Danny comes home.  A team from Messiah Lutheran Church in Charlotte, NC, built a ramp outside their home.  Larry shows off the picture of the new ramp with pride.  Carolyn donated her living room furniture to make room for Danny's at-home medical room.  She has plans to remove the sliding doors from her deck for Danny to sit outside in his wheelchair.

Life is a new normal for Carolyn, Danny, and Larry.

Danny tells me,  "I have dreams about eating at Golden Corral!"  His brother adds, "Didn't you dream about vanilla ice cream on top of a raspberry doughnut the other day?"  They smile and share a laugh.  Recently, he has been able to eat banana pudding.  When I smiled and said, "Banana pudding never tasted so good," he smiled and his eyes lit up for a moment. 

Danny used to find great joy in playing church league softball.  He is an avid sports fan - The Miami Dolphins, the Chicago Cubs, the Chicago Bulls, and NC State University.  His face lights up when you speak of any of them. 

Golden Corral.  Church league softball.  Standing up to cheer for your favorite team.  The simple things. 

"What do you pray for, Danny?"

"That I will be able to move my arms and legs again.  That I will be able to eat again."

The humble prayers of a man who lies in bed and cries, "Why, God?  How could you let this happen to me?"

Life is a new normal for Carolyn, Danny, and Larry.

They hear the stories of real people who have defied all odds and moved again.  They meet the woman who became a nurse after her four months of being paralyzed following an accident. 

They were healed.  They walked again. 

There is some hope in those stories, for sure. 

A hope for healing someday.  A hope for a sense of normalcy.

But more than those stories, this family knows of the paralyzed man lowered through a ceiling to be healed by Jesus.  But before Jesus heals his physical needs, Jesus does the greatest healing for the man - He forgives him of his sins.  If you had asked this man or his friends or his family what his greatest need was, the answer would probably have been to walk.  Thanks be to God He knows our greatest need better than we do.

Danny, too, is forgiven. 

Danny was washed in Baptism at St. John's Lutheran Church in Lagrange, IL, as a baby. 

Danny received instruction in the faith at Ascension Lutheran Church in Charlotte, NC, as a child.

Danny received the Body and Blood of Christ for the forgiveness of his sins at Abundant Life Lutheran Church in Charlotte, NC, as an adult.

Danny, even now from his hospital room, receives visits from his pastor in the stead of Christ.

Someday, Danny knows he too will be healed physically - on this side of eternity or when he comes face to face with his Healer, Jesus Christ.  But before Jesus heals his physical needs, Jesus does the greatest healing for the man - He forgives him of his sins.  Thanks be to God!

Life is a new normal for Carolyn, Danny, and Larry.

Here is how you can help them in their new normal -

Pray. 

For Carolyn, for Danny, and for Larry, we pray, Lord, have mercy.  Christ, have mercy.  Lord, have mercy.  Heavenly Father, we ask You to send the hands to care for this family, the resources to provide for this family, and the faith to endure the suffering for this family.  We pray for healing for Danny, and strength for Carolyn and Larry.  In all things, may your good and gracious will be done.  Amen.

Donate time and talents.

If you are near Charlotte, NC, consider donating meals to the family.  If you have medical training, consider donating your time for personal relief for Larry and Carolyn.  If you have construction experience, consider donating your time for remodeling the Schuett home. 

Give. 

A fundraising page has been set up for the Schuett family at this address: www.youcaring.com/schuettfamily.  Any donations will be helpful in providing nursing care, home remodeling, and purchasing updated devices and assisted technology to aid Danny in everyday life.

Submitted by Journeys of Faith contributing writer- Kelly Stout.